comparing to the original 50 seconds one and this version : i must say, this is even more chilling and better than the old one, i like it a lot, nice used of synths and ambience, reverb and all.
well not a big fan of that "pew" noises at the end part but that's okay.
now it sounds like a full opening song for any kind of anime.
overall, you sang beautifully.
you should keep it up.
good job.